Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Here is the Silver Lining

I don't know how many of you actually read this,
Or if 31 of you are just sitting there for kicks.

If you ever do read this, there's something I'd like to share with you.
I'm starting a new project called 'Here is the Silver Lining'
I'm posting a new thing that I have learnt about life everyday until thanksgiving. I want to try and change the way I see the world. To put my heart into the phrase 'Never a mistake, always a lesson' and discover what happens when we choose to learn instead of dwell.

Join me.


Thursday, April 5, 2012

Long time no speak Cyber Pals,
Apologies for my lack of communication. Please select an excuse below that makes you feel the best about my abscence.

I've been:

-So busy with Uni
-Without internet (e.g spent some time in a cave or some other desolate hole. Highly unlikely considering I just moved to the largest city in the country but whatever tickles your fancy)
-Thinking of you so much I lost my mind and forgot what a computer was

Anyway, bucket full of soz about my disappearing act. My whole life has changed since I last blogged, how's that for a starting point?

I live in the big city now (Or average-small city depending on where you're from) and it's a strange reality. My sleepless nights are coloured by fire engine sirens and screaming drunkards on the street below. It's not safe to walk home or outside after dark and it's never a good idea to talk to a stranger. I can't recall seeing the same person twice on the street that I live on, and in the midst of the crowds it's the loneliest place I've ever known.

Everything feels a little out of reach at times. Even the cups in the kitchen cupboard. I don't really know where I'm going or what I'm doing. I spend my days trying to write music that will meet requirements and have little time to sing my heart the way I used to. I'm learning to love new voices and I'm learning that comparing myself to them will get me nowhere. I've decided that there is beauty in all writing if it is honest, and that if a heart is worn on a piece of paper it will inevitably encourage yours to open up even if only by half an inch.

I'm discovering new things about love and it's various expressions and movements everyday. I live with my best friends and it's wonderful. We cry together, we laugh together, most importantly we watch Miranda together. My sister lives just down the road and she's just as beautiful as ever.

I miss home all the time. Right now I'm back on break and I've never felt so content. I love the silence at nighttime. I love the kisses from my mother in the morning and I love the jokes of my father over lunch.

It's hard to try and summarise. How does one go about summing up the biggest change in their life yet? Well, God is faithful. He is faithful through the hardship. He is present in my sleepless nights. He is there when I can't reach the cups in the kitchen cupboard. He is smiling when he see's the beauty in my relationships. His heart is aching for me when homesickness brings me to breaking point.

God is faithful. Let's hope I can be a little more faithful with these posts, I need to let the writing studies major in me loose.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Goodmorning all,
I like food. You like food.

I love food. You love food.

I made a food blog.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

To say I am riding an emotional roller coaster would be the understatement of the century.
I have never been one for letting go. I have never been a thrill seeker. I have never really been interested in the types of ups and downs that make your belly start dancing like it's on hot coals.

I am a creature of habit, hesitant to change and prone to routine. However, change is one of the only inevitable constant things in life, and I am learning that it is better embraced than run from. It will catch up, and by the time it does you will have wasted precious time and energy on your hopeless-from-the-moment-you-began endeavour.

I have always harboured bitterness towards moving on. The last 4 years have left me almost alone, as university, work and I suppose ultimately time has caused a form of desertion: growing up. Now the time has come for me to get my skates on: Goodbye familiar, Hello unknown.

I am sad. I am leaving behind a community of people who have loved and cared for me my entire life. I will no longer see my childhood friends everyday. The girl in kindergarten who told me she loved my rainbow shirt, the boy with the book-bag I slipped a love letter in during my first year of school, the best friend I used to swing on the big blue bin with. The people who have caught and carried my tears through the hardest years of my life line the hallways I've walked everyday for 13 years. I will miss the office receptionist who knows my name and my favourite primary school teacher who still makes time to talk when I pass her. I will miss the smiles of shy younger kids and I will miss the bear hugs of the not-so-shy. You never realise what a place has done to your heart until it is time to go.

I am confused. To put it in the simplest of terms, the only thing I am sure of is Jesus and his ability to get me through.

I am happy. The rest of my life is about to begin. The possibilities ahead are endless, what I may or may not do. Who I might meet, where I might go, what I might learn. It's a daunting thought, but it's exciting. I am eager to kiss goodbye daily monotony and the rules and regulations of high school. I won't miss the up and down glance from the supposed top of the food chain, I won't miss the hypocrisy and I certainly won't miss the things people think of you when you actually have a moral compass.

I am no good with this roller coaster. I face almost constant motion sickness, looking scared does not do anything for my face and I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready to plunge deep into the unknown and trust that I'll survive it. However, there is one thing I am sure of: Jesus, and his ability to get me through.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

My weary mind is filled with so much clutter and peculiar inspiration that any attempt to articulate it is poor and un-romantic. This is so much so that bullet points are seemingly the only form of realistic and accurate communication.
  • NEVER just accept love. Rejoice in it, fight for it, give it as freely as you can.
  • Jesus is more than enough for you. His grace goes beyond human comprehension.
  • On a slightly more superficial note, I'm now of the belief that animals can communicate after an interesting episode with my dogs. I'm willing to accept that this strange notion does steer me in the direction of being in a state of questionable sanity.

Friday, August 5, 2011

One of those weeks.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

There is a slight possibility that happiness is just a decision you are yet to make.